{"title":"Newly Dropped","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe latest batch of funny graphic tees just landed, and they're already causing the right kind of trouble. These fresh designs bring that perfect mix of retro charm and questionable life choices that somehow works. Expect mascots with attitude and jokes that hit different.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eEach shirt gets printed on Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton that's been garment-dyed to that perfectly broken-in softness. Our direct-to-garment printing keeps the details crisp while the relaxed unisex fit keeps things comfortable. These humor shirts are built to last through whatever questionable decisions they inspire.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBrowse the collection and find your next conversation starter. Free shipping kicks in at $75, so stock up on graphic tees for adults who appreciate the finer points of poor judgment.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"smoking-cane-corso","title":"SMOKING CANE CORSO","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA photorealistic grayscale Cane Corso sits hunched on dark pavement, chain-smoking with the unbothered energy of someone who has fully made peace with their choices — crushed beer can to the left, spent butt to the right, fresh cigarette lit and going. Gritty vintage bootleg print, no color, no explanation needed. It looks like a crime scene photo from a very specific kind of rough Tuesday.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe group chat loses it before you've even put it on. It's the kind of shirt that earns a genuine double-take — people clock the dog first, then the cigarette, then the beer can, and then they just nod, because they know someone exactly like this. Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton, so it feels as lived-in as the vibe.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eFor the friend whose Cane Corso, pitbull, or bully-breed dog is a mirror of their entire personality — and they're completely fine with that.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44081117986881,"sku":"10376196794761314616","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44081118052417,"sku":"15677187167838031457","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44081118150721,"sku":"23178567322941484884","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44081118249025,"sku":"26232176694897571561","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44081118347329,"sku":"23344736986218607456","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44081118412865,"sku":"20901351284677601752","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44081118019649,"sku":"34328974764561317841","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44081118117953,"sku":"13903944753414219789","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44081118216257,"sku":"15705157670610561375","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44081118314561,"sku":"17005464482076661733","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44081118380097,"sku":"90061010494114530484","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44081118445633,"sku":"73609156320279418991","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44081118085185,"sku":"19168844815053797491","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44081118183489,"sku":"15885736286812624129","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44081118281793,"sku":"45749044271120826520","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44081118478401,"sku":"31304634470065770749","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/black_5b35c8f9-7cf7-421d-bff9-da814d5f3349.jpg?v=1782289962"},{"product_id":"babygirl","title":"BABYGIRL","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA grizzly bear mid-roar — all teeth, all claws, taking zero requests — planted inside a pastel rainbow with butterflies and a whole bed of flowers, sweet enough for a lunchbox. Then, overhead in spiky pink metal-band lettering: BABYGIRL. Soft framing, feral center. The flowers never stood a chance.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003ePeople read it twice — once for the rainbow, once when the teeth register — and then decide it is the most accurate thing you own. Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton: soft as the pastels, built to outlast the bit.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe friend who is cute until provoked and proud of it. The this-is-so-you birthday gift, the white elephant that starts a fight, the brunch where you would rather bite than make small talk. Built for anyone soft on the outside and feral underneath.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Beige \/ S","offer_id":44087230955585,"sku":"41950448100833280909","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ M","offer_id":44087231184961,"sku":"14829063546060056545","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ L","offer_id":44087231414337,"sku":"23719850805715443539","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ XL","offer_id":44087231643713,"sku":"17336906123283559373","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ 2XL","offer_id":44087231873089,"sku":"25717571068726036620","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ 3XL","offer_id":44087232069697,"sku":"71937972149588530893","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44087230857281,"sku":"26567968353219584916","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44087231086657,"sku":"10347715912501529351","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44087231316033,"sku":"29474199313374625132","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44087231545409,"sku":"26831423854580756492","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44087231774785,"sku":"13444434596304931311","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44087232004161,"sku":"12439051091451824370","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":44087230890049,"sku":"24652932254633376449","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":44087231119425,"sku":"29887257194687267168","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":44087231348801,"sku":"24750367799554598534","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":44087231578177,"sku":"25629502249086928805","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":44087231807553,"sku":"21411253213095389032","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":44087232168001,"sku":"29091552283492346128","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44087230922817,"sku":"29343752281431400980","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44087231152193,"sku":"90414530214537441909","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44087231381569,"sku":"68574659064793925037","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44087231610945,"sku":"18806133576849016413","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44087231840321,"sku":"22341661340430538786","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44087232036929,"sku":"29940696596229692702","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ S","offer_id":44087230988353,"sku":"23605008463045195906","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ M","offer_id":44087231217729,"sku":"14666839799121718964","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ L","offer_id":44087231447105,"sku":"13284299512478348779","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ XL","offer_id":44087231676481,"sku":"29229070432432046897","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":44087231905857,"sku":"30070420306563616958","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":44087232102465,"sku":"92038427038849825621","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44087231021121,"sku":"24203208447354405605","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44087231250497,"sku":"24061098964014491813","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44087231479873,"sku":"31114964925867960399","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44087231709249,"sku":"99393165347404367280","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44087231938625,"sku":"89548937612457277942","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44087232135233,"sku":"18364702937889506337","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ S","offer_id":44087231053889,"sku":"27555575168591638531","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ M","offer_id":44087231283265,"sku":"19250185212470308732","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ L","offer_id":44087231512641,"sku":"28411156639021503586","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ XL","offer_id":44087231742017,"sku":"25666625991657154549","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 2XL","offer_id":44087231971393,"sku":"32687736900223073263","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 3XL","offer_id":44087232200769,"sku":"88721588626919261215","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/ivory_9a9f2334-ec9b-4c2c-8e82-3c00daef04e9.jpg?v=1782469210"},{"product_id":"flight-was-never-an-option","title":"FLIGHT WAS NEVER AN OPTION","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA real photograph of an African penguin standing on a dim doorstep, lit cigarette clenched in its beak, kitchen knife gripped in one flipper, staring directly into your soul with the energy of someone who has nothing left to lose. Beneath it: 'Flight Was Never An Option.' The penguin does not care.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eSomeone clocks the cute penguin, then sees the knife, then goes quiet. That pause is the whole thing. Printed on Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eWhite elephant, a cursed birthday, secret santa for someone you actually know — or the chronically-online deadpan friend who has seen every unhinged animal meme and somehow not this one.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44091282325569,"sku":"95411327566338275203","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44091282423873,"sku":"27477459609100015532","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44091282522177,"sku":"81918604705560982404","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44091282620481,"sku":"30694432732310047722","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44091282718785,"sku":"27383091744016143762","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44091282817089,"sku":"30358209250456532842","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44091282391105,"sku":"32873462998983221013","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44091282489409,"sku":"11574615236277133923","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44091282587713,"sku":"60164098083183627807","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44091282686017,"sku":"12819494386076345212","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44091282784321,"sku":"63670906587971971179","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44091282849857,"sku":"31597520499925747109","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":44091282358337,"sku":"13370748126708674451","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":44091282456641,"sku":"13199929792172885690","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":44091282554945,"sku":"30740562316490976716","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":44091282653249,"sku":"15534261593581993899","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":44091282751553,"sku":"16537681001691604807","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":44091282882625,"sku":"62464949138883405832","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260627135039-1f1722f2-e798-6c14-be11-66d9a0df68b2.jpg?v=1782568307"},{"product_id":"lgbt-latinas-gambling-beer-tax-evasion","title":"LGBT LATINAS GAMBLING BEER TAX EVASION","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eSix latinas, slot machines, a roulette wheel, poker cards, chips, dice, and cold beer — laid out in full bootleg 90s rap-tee collage format, big serif headline up top. That headline reads 'LGBT.' Underneath, in case you missed it: Latinas, Gambling, Beer, Tax Evasion.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThis is the shirt that communicates your entire personality before you open your mouth — latinas, the casino floor, a cold one, and a creative approach to federal obligations, all on one Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight tee. Someone will read the acronym twice. Worth it.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe friend who treats Vegas like a spiritual experience, the poker night crew that needs a group shirt, or whoever already has the meme saved and just needs it on cotton. Unhinged white elephant pick. Correct bachelorette-weekend energy.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44092500017217,"sku":"62455834530473133766","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44092500213825,"sku":"26980412932946154176","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44092500410433,"sku":"17433058553027732898","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44092500607041,"sku":"13194221804105529639","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44092500803649,"sku":"31403100405555134271","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44092501000257,"sku":"87487475688994123825","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":44092500049985,"sku":"21759443846951592216","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":44092500246593,"sku":"22794748206964261791","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":44092500443201,"sku":"24689277012588123344","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":44092500639809,"sku":"25693965794057141786","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":44092500836417,"sku":"82966878339344194603","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":44092501164097,"sku":"31252873194689101766","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44092500181057,"sku":"18428953795356254349","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44092500377665,"sku":"18223249785553080010","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44092500574273,"sku":"94319720801827582989","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44092500770881,"sku":"21825696018432928659","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44092500967489,"sku":"84259158071423959720","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44092501131329,"sku":"23653791733502366993","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ S","offer_id":44092500115521,"sku":"27163852125132453291","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ M","offer_id":44092500312129,"sku":"15520562181431576486","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ L","offer_id":44092500508737,"sku":"14677789714742255555","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ XL","offer_id":44092500705345,"sku":"10810109828209002724","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ 2XL","offer_id":44092500901953,"sku":"10191202661187386323","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ 3XL","offer_id":44092501065793,"sku":"11415658129059669740","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44092500082753,"sku":"18684193356495707234","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44092500279361,"sku":"26100645657832313339","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44092500475969,"sku":"19182084088089161322","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44092500672577,"sku":"17728142991995896183","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44092500869185,"sku":"31475877647189697459","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44092501033025,"sku":"16019547853742539538","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ S","offer_id":44092500148289,"sku":"11807430170758515159","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ M","offer_id":44092500344897,"sku":"70374490894875986394","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ L","offer_id":44092500541505,"sku":"17950606763674422318","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ XL","offer_id":44092500738113,"sku":"20232457972450055527","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ 2XL","offer_id":44092500934721,"sku":"87470260330098006057","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ 3XL","offer_id":44092501098561,"sku":"61423672541608447821","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/black_07f10a85-767c-4424-8185-2c9585062225.jpg?v=1782655777"},{"product_id":"big-game-hunter","title":"BIG GAME HUNTER","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eGold chrome lettering arches across the top: BIG GAME HUNTER. Underneath, a full sparkle-and-lightning photo collage — curvy figures in camo swimwear, rifles slung, binoculars raised — built around one leering safari-hatted old-timer, binoculars locked dead on target. The big game isn't in the woods.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe person next to you at the bar reads BIG GAME HUNTER, clocks the collage, and gets there in about three seconds. Worth every one. Printed on Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton, so this cursed artifact is somehow the softest, most unwearable thing in the rotation.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA white elephant gift that ends the exchange on a hard stop. A bachelor party, a deer-camp opening weekend, or a birthday for the friend who needs to be the most unhinged person in the room. Made for anyone who swears they've seen everything offensive on the internet and needs to be proven wrong.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44093372629057,"sku":"32486339886814764500","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44093372661825,"sku":"14670287520895320384","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44093372694593,"sku":"21518500755365264762","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44093372727361,"sku":"22089093343127563527","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44093372760129,"sku":"22245434409632157061","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44093372792897,"sku":"28057647875407615705","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260628192815-1f173278-2652-6466-bbb4-6e8151b99d2f.jpg?v=1782675084"},{"product_id":"d-t-f-down-to-fish","title":"D.T.F DOWN TO FISH","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA vintage engraved-style largemouth bass launches clean out of a glassy lake at golden hour — the kind of timeless, almost dignified illustration you'd find on a classic tackle box or a 1970s fishing lodge wall. Arched above it in bold block letters: D.T.F. Down To Fish. That's it. That's the whole thing.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThis is the Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton tee the angler in your life actually reaches for — worn-in feel, built to last, looks good at the ramp or at the cookout after. Anyone who reads the chest earns it.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eWhite elephant exchange, the birthday of the person whose whole personality is bass fishing, Father's Day, a retirement from everything except the lake. Safe enough to hand over at a family gathering. Barely.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Beige \/ S","offer_id":44116916469825,"sku":"52273555505995742030","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ M","offer_id":44116916699201,"sku":"60846410163805319440","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ L","offer_id":44116916928577,"sku":"61643335145446837539","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ XL","offer_id":44116917157953,"sku":"20747335805974592714","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ 2XL","offer_id":44116917387329,"sku":"20070664932352759450","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ 3XL","offer_id":44116917583937,"sku":"33845523243870007446","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44116916338753,"sku":"28288398287145615039","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44116916568129,"sku":"29402126916058371255","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44116916797505,"sku":"10795510759930696090","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44116917026881,"sku":"30268930646315093890","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44116917256257,"sku":"10780450534828707529","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44116917518401,"sku":"16861333924477355711","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":44116916371521,"sku":"15784275136148001595","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":44116916600897,"sku":"11515522822551385704","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":44116916830273,"sku":"28817116350079133940","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":44116917059649,"sku":"19726315686048293408","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":44116917289025,"sku":"30128724713385705166","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":44116917682241,"sku":"30555399813844819125","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44116916535361,"sku":"25462458866292171237","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44116916764737,"sku":"15461064904726068399","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44116916994113,"sku":"22462746125565875497","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44116917223489,"sku":"25819397127278400003","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44116917452865,"sku":"30586975909701305140","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44116917649473,"sku":"24201378174203503117","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ S","offer_id":44116916502593,"sku":"12793999491228394825","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ M","offer_id":44116916731969,"sku":"28646045614900087647","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ L","offer_id":44116916961345,"sku":"32843657507976478379","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ XL","offer_id":44116917190721,"sku":"11203228189179237964","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ 2XL","offer_id":44116917420097,"sku":"27241109798826304807","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ 3XL","offer_id":44116917616705,"sku":"14799628182838407478","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ S","offer_id":44116916404289,"sku":"48426282989941749037","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ M","offer_id":44116916633665,"sku":"82792864032995308672","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ L","offer_id":44116916863041,"sku":"59907649221194104328","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ XL","offer_id":44116917092417,"sku":"15096171787409383573","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":44116917321793,"sku":"18777728996494720935","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":44116917485633,"sku":"22932510170908049443","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44116916437057,"sku":"32855403810243295414","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44116916666433,"sku":"33454271607156080094","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44116916895809,"sku":"20980848155340878928","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44116917125185,"sku":"16925987954678667725","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44116917354561,"sku":"12296714629483733165","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44116917551169,"sku":"10450708307590990274","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260702222323-1f17664a-36f2-670c-b09a-4af0ac2ed013.jpg?v=1783031523"},{"product_id":"its-called-coping","title":"IT'S CALLED COPING","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eNine cats. Nine martinis. Nine deadpan faces that have absolutely nothing to apologize for. Each portrait is photorealistic, studio-lit, deeply serious — the kind of fine-art treatment usually reserved for aristocrats or golden retrievers belonging to aristocrats. Every cat holds a classic dirty martini with the energy of someone who has been asked 'are you okay?' one too many times. The caption reads 'It's Called Coping.' The self-awareness is doing all the heavy lifting.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eSomeone is going to clock the cats, clock the martinis, clock the caption — and immediately text you 'where did you get this.' That's the whole moment. Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton means it's the shirt you reach for first, which tracks, because deadpan confidence that doesn't need to explain itself, and neither do you.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA strong white elephant pull, a coworker birthday, a secret santa for the person in your life who jokes about needing a drink and means it every single time. Anyone who owns three cats and zero apologies will understand immediately.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":44117105246273,"sku":"13185341581900819233","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":44117105475649,"sku":"33929151659464149590","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":44117105705025,"sku":"13164232304136067280","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":44117105934401,"sku":"32991632960459600158","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":44117106163777,"sku":"14320712090083271847","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":44117106524225,"sku":"12370104596891492394","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ S","offer_id":44117105311809,"sku":"33308991660819700419","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ M","offer_id":44117105541185,"sku":"40610176361522036191","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ L","offer_id":44117105770561,"sku":"27339350876344656258","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ XL","offer_id":44117105999937,"sku":"31240030430785685939","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ 2XL","offer_id":44117106229313,"sku":"26725925450042885129","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ 3XL","offer_id":44117106425921,"sku":"17902799226960587252","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44117105213505,"sku":"24331564364976190593","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44117105442881,"sku":"13123309774857093325","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44117105672257,"sku":"17014269864654623780","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44117105901633,"sku":"28235613835505919437","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44117106131009,"sku":"11972354441508582416","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44117106360385,"sku":"33748687091454179175","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44117105377345,"sku":"33974389577711898889","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44117105606721,"sku":"15472599337271401132","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44117105836097,"sku":"27772754388632389305","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44117106065473,"sku":"76204238241937941420","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44117106294849,"sku":"35241303949907947173","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44117106491457,"sku":"29469590655782115942","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ S","offer_id":44117105410113,"sku":"21950143003389799141","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ M","offer_id":44117105639489,"sku":"25843539068404953410","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ L","offer_id":44117105868865,"sku":"22553479296810129904","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ XL","offer_id":44117106098241,"sku":"22247647648557874181","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 2XL","offer_id":44117106327617,"sku":"12413262310889060953","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 3XL","offer_id":44117106556993,"sku":"79022849445984647039","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44117105279041,"sku":"24876644517483628513","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44117105508417,"sku":"33927881660023564423","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44117105737793,"sku":"10326880595593163907","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44117105967169,"sku":"79467590228800567957","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44117106196545,"sku":"25135340844481122853","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44117106393153,"sku":"30698419658720498569","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ S","offer_id":44117105344577,"sku":"59635753560665939677","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ M","offer_id":44117105573953,"sku":"69644159925738351801","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ L","offer_id":44117105803329,"sku":"26923198686181286299","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ XL","offer_id":44117106032705,"sku":"50028077501242118576","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":44117106262081,"sku":"46107359357867320270","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":44117106458689,"sku":"15965805810876035643","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260702232004-1f1766c8-e404-646c-9a92-628eeca13d0c.jpg?v=1783034729"},{"product_id":"i-love-seeing-big-racks","title":"I LOVE SEEING BIG RACKS","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA vintage woodcut whitetail buck stands broad-shouldered in a pine forest, mountains stacked behind it, antler rack sprawling wide enough to make any deer camp stop mid-conversation — the kind of art you'd hang in a hunting cabin without a second thought. Above it all, in bold proud letters: 'I LOVE SEEING BIG RACKS.' The wholesome outdoors scene is doing a lot of heavy lifting.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eSomeone reads 'I LOVE SEEING BIG RACKS,' clocks the majestic buck, does a slow blink, and reads it again. That's the whole payoff. Comfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight cotton — broken in from the first wear, built to last through every deer season after this one.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eWhite elephant at deer camp, a naughty birthday for the hunting obsessive in your life, or the friend who owns every piece of camo gear and thinks they've seen every funny hunting shirt the internet has to offer. Ships fast for Christmas, Father's Day, and any gag-gift exchange where the bar is 'they have to wear it in public.'\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44120349999169,"sku":"21884477837640259911","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44120350163009,"sku":"30190966920566346906","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44120350326849,"sku":"17702205891865029265","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44120350490689,"sku":"22967375452035657445","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44120350654529,"sku":"32073274193526091592","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44120350785601,"sku":"28149674305224984360","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":44120349933633,"sku":"12023585561466416241","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":44120350097473,"sku":"59699064378068452358","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":44120350261313,"sku":"18510618115018080205","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":44120350425153,"sku":"14262073332470627658","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":44120350588993,"sku":"48259448875868331816","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":44120350883905,"sku":"18067786446121566991","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ S","offer_id":44120350064705,"sku":"26806131317487403861","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ M","offer_id":44120350228545,"sku":"33828194649306405293","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ L","offer_id":44120350392385,"sku":"30191902948746785248","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ XL","offer_id":44120350556225,"sku":"20580190112132984206","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ 2XL","offer_id":44120350720065,"sku":"25217699206806897788","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ 3XL","offer_id":44120350851137,"sku":"33804366432960326413","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44120350031937,"sku":"15845028808793196152","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44120350195777,"sku":"15329170510800578151","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44120350359617,"sku":"22717100530826686375","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44120350523457,"sku":"12291916830663286287","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44120350687297,"sku":"72718975025829860745","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44120350818369,"sku":"28518575937781487618","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ S","offer_id":44120349966401,"sku":"12520758415231021807","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ M","offer_id":44120350130241,"sku":"22660877202484692414","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ L","offer_id":44120350294081,"sku":"44647212897219300611","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ XL","offer_id":44120350457921,"sku":"29092378600799957950","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":44120350621761,"sku":"30063192588587007623","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":44120350752833,"sku":"12860664142895462730","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260703173314-1f177054-51eb-69aa-8129-b672bb556c57.jpg?v=1783100193"},{"product_id":"if-you-lick-them-they-will-come","title":"IF YOU LICK THEM THEY WILL COME","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA black-and-white retro pin-up — finger waves, glamour makeup, one slow wink — holds up a rainbow swirl lollipop, the only burst of color in the whole piece. Framed in classic serif text, it reads: 'IF YOU LICK THEM \/ THEY WILL COME.' She's clearly talking about lollipops.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eComfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton, so it fits and feels exactly right — which is more than can be said for the caption. It's the shirt that earns a double-take from across the room and a screenshot in the group chat before anyone says a word.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eBuilt for the white elephant exchange, the dirty santa haul, the bachelorette weekend packing list, or the unhinged funny shirt exchange where someone always tries to win most-inappropriate-in-the-room. If you know someone who thinks they've seen every adult gag gift — this is the one.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44122484342849,"sku":"86449283363851917134","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44122484539457,"sku":"93167855620468626528","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44122484736065,"sku":"54450900181470655665","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44122484932673,"sku":"23736895556910242615","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44122485129281,"sku":"28700716601950335026","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44122485293121,"sku":"10182513254736460408","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44122484179009,"sku":"20980961864227275049","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44122484375617,"sku":"23697968788229520809","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44122484572225,"sku":"22722598283067112922","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44122484768833,"sku":"32555032012939024916","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44122484965441,"sku":"30043983566877378710","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44122485162049,"sku":"25320208146226171908","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":44122484211777,"sku":"32028013172485537222","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":44122484408385,"sku":"17421409622360930999","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":44122484604993,"sku":"15009730570018286213","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":44122484801601,"sku":"19232813392166827062","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":44122484998209,"sku":"15571273331025782838","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":44122485325889,"sku":"78433905161759487289","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ S","offer_id":44122484310081,"sku":"21016492485143047385","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ M","offer_id":44122484506689,"sku":"49413712738426846350","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ L","offer_id":44122484703297,"sku":"31484442594206379482","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ XL","offer_id":44122484899905,"sku":"23443867310863085158","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ 2XL","offer_id":44122485096513,"sku":"21796146436128217066","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ 3XL","offer_id":44122485260353,"sku":"14214126541172512552","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ S","offer_id":44122484244545,"sku":"24170369564271342406","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ M","offer_id":44122484441153,"sku":"19709421988955443380","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ L","offer_id":44122484637761,"sku":"20923951124585721214","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ XL","offer_id":44122484834369,"sku":"20430943262500461680","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ 2XL","offer_id":44122485030977,"sku":"29602758445369708332","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ 3XL","offer_id":44122485194817,"sku":"17153075096221554237","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44122484277313,"sku":"10500812852071280684","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44122484473921,"sku":"59384279012905775529","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44122484670529,"sku":"25675705391642755250","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44122484867137,"sku":"65076977083228460334","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44122485063745,"sku":"37404414290053008420","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44122485227585,"sku":"32452070108909706608","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260704174139-1f177cf9-c9ed-6b90-bb08-424766272487.jpg?v=1783187144"},{"product_id":"the-only-b-word-ill-ever-call-my-bitch-is-beautiful","title":"THE ONLY B WORD I'LL EVER CALL MY BITCH IS BEAUTIFUL","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA vintage pen-and-ink frog holds out a single rose like it has been rehearsing this moment for weeks — the kind of delicate little illustration you would find pressed inside a Victorian botanical journal, genuinely sweet. Then you read the text: THE ONLY B WORD I'LL EVER CALL MY BITCH IS BEAUTIFUL. The setup braces you for a slur and lands a love note. The frog knew what it was doing the whole time.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe best part is the three-second delay — the brace, the pivot, the realization that this is actually the most romantic thing anyone has ever put on a shirt. Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton means it's as soft as the sentiment underneath all that profanity. It's the shirt that makes the group chat lose it before you've even handed it over.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe ideal Valentine's Day gag that isn't really a gag, an anniversary gift for the person in your life who would rather die than receive something sincere, or a 'just because' move that hits harder than flowers. Also: the chronically-online friend who thinks they've seen every frog meme the internet has ever produced. They have not seen this one.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44126127325249,"sku":"79989908869910354376","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44126127521857,"sku":"21702728943296510680","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44126127718465,"sku":"11648675770277833937","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44126127915073,"sku":"87114786683465432321","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44126128111681,"sku":"69929558027001133607","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44126128275521,"sku":"33024469834059263932","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":44126127259713,"sku":"31448618505714653352","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":44126127456321,"sku":"26162734010380327811","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":44126127652929,"sku":"30769006827804996162","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":44126127849537,"sku":"24000882522143994818","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":44126128046145,"sku":"21678609017950070155","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":44126128373825,"sku":"16040920698241358842","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ S","offer_id":44126127358017,"sku":"20081807741364146937","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ M","offer_id":44126127554625,"sku":"45535070955192007511","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ L","offer_id":44126127751233,"sku":"17422237778507492705","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ XL","offer_id":44126127947841,"sku":"45371648729550381123","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ 2XL","offer_id":44126128144449,"sku":"13494347908425932645","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ 3XL","offer_id":44126128308289,"sku":"33969682764129574613","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ S","offer_id":44126127292481,"sku":"32681067085064507742","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ M","offer_id":44126127489089,"sku":"27097967920535957401","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ L","offer_id":44126127685697,"sku":"32902714531315219638","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ XL","offer_id":44126127882305,"sku":"10939215229816389420","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":44126128078913,"sku":"29036959780643634578","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":44126128242753,"sku":"22619301940841946764","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orange \/ S","offer_id":44126127423553,"sku":"15191141974428320404","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orange \/ M","offer_id":44126127620161,"sku":"30274274311956935377","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orange \/ L","offer_id":44126127816769,"sku":"13204142038593827742","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orange \/ XL","offer_id":44126128013377,"sku":"21795373977787675349","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orange \/ 2XL","offer_id":44126128209985,"sku":"13813301237831953169","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orange \/ 3XL","offer_id":44126128406593,"sku":"21991322201480728675","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ S","offer_id":44126127390785,"sku":"24427668316554727345","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ M","offer_id":44126127587393,"sku":"12387727074058008428","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ L","offer_id":44126127784001,"sku":"23215425121183036756","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ XL","offer_id":44126127980609,"sku":"90360072579351808288","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ 2XL","offer_id":44126128177217,"sku":"90431759076771043829","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ 3XL","offer_id":44126128341057,"sku":"10822510944307142443","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260705154944-1f178892-48c7-68dc-9c70-364803eeedf5.jpg?v=1783267014"},{"product_id":"tsa-certified-bomb-pussy","title":"TSA CERTIFIED BOMB PUSSY","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA vintage woodcut tabby sits at attention in a TSA officer cap, perfectly composed beside a lit cartoon bomb — the kind of antique engraving that belongs in a natural history archive. The caption reads 'TSA CERTIFIED BOMB PUSSY.' It's a cat meme shirt that somehow passed quality control.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eIt's a cursed antique print of a cat next to a bomb, and it's also genuinely unhinged in three directions at once — Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton that gets softer with every wash, which feels wrong to say about this particular shirt.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eWhite elephant, dirty santa, the bachelorette party's most unacceptable gift, or the chronically-online friend who has seen every cat parody shirt the internet has produced and needs one more.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Pink \/ S","offer_id":44126444224577,"sku":"17799931864412791272","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ M","offer_id":44126444453953,"sku":"24297493339466279548","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ L","offer_id":44126444683329,"sku":"16043569468997344694","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ XL","offer_id":44126444912705,"sku":"13782253637062188582","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ 2XL","offer_id":44126445142081,"sku":"80627526394116034442","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ 3XL","offer_id":44126445305921,"sku":"19595600747667089039","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":44126444126273,"sku":"11658622108985779000","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":44126444355649,"sku":"22596270796427544330","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":44126444585025,"sku":"10219302494264664983","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":44126444814401,"sku":"31737050235208557949","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":44126445043777,"sku":"18786726715221953612","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":44126445469761,"sku":"30422150836509615752","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ S","offer_id":44126444191809,"sku":"99033341959533357657","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ M","offer_id":44126444421185,"sku":"11712262440416364948","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ L","offer_id":44126444650561,"sku":"10595204359477039361","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ XL","offer_id":44126444879937,"sku":"16393033137878320445","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":44126445109313,"sku":"14649122668131583198","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":44126445273153,"sku":"16520115003493996020","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ S","offer_id":44126444290113,"sku":"12126220894788440319","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ M","offer_id":44126444519489,"sku":"77262807947617643352","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ L","offer_id":44126444748865,"sku":"37028932987242493479","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ XL","offer_id":44126444978241,"sku":"21221951414353991182","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ 2XL","offer_id":44126445207617,"sku":"33612928315695882276","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ 3XL","offer_id":44126445404225,"sku":"79051365011456183346","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44126444257345,"sku":"29509486631801235611","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44126444486721,"sku":"29834616926864283142","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44126444716097,"sku":"30694205734908212316","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44126444945473,"sku":"33621930156529618484","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44126445174849,"sku":"33279192897660075815","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44126445371457,"sku":"10386055920722122831","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple \/ S","offer_id":44126444322881,"sku":"32302089631459442287","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple \/ M","offer_id":44126444552257,"sku":"35185411741296653072","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple \/ L","offer_id":44126444781633,"sku":"11178787033996791789","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple \/ XL","offer_id":44126445011009,"sku":"18341027791681283457","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple \/ 2XL","offer_id":44126445240385,"sku":"11791875100326998871","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple \/ 3XL","offer_id":44126445436993,"sku":"13811004892328954775","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ S","offer_id":44126444159041,"sku":"14471170147178173190","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ M","offer_id":44126444388417,"sku":"56674070322322757545","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ L","offer_id":44126444617793,"sku":"16393637344969698858","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ XL","offer_id":44126444847169,"sku":"73926398978944355616","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ 2XL","offer_id":44126445076545,"sku":"26513329220474068978","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ 3XL","offer_id":44126445338689,"sku":"28432810380739429959","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260705182032-1f1789e3-5ac8-6b1a-b364-8e561a7feb08.jpg?v=1783275998"},{"product_id":"off-to-see-the-dealer","title":"OFF TO SEE THE DEALER","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA storybook emerald castle crowns a hill at the end of a winding golden brick path — spires, sparkle stars, the whole enchanted journey — except the foliage lining every inch of that road is dense, frosty cannabis buds and realistic cannabis leaves, and the distressed serif text arching over the whole scene reads OFF TO SEE THE DEALER. The destination is not Oz.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eSomeone at the smoke session is going to read it twice, then just start laughing. Printed on Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight ring-spun cotton in a vintage-wash illustration that looks like it's been in your rotation for years.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe 420 shirt that belongs in every white elephant exchange, every dispensary run fit check, and every birthday haul for the person in your life whose whole personality is weed. A stoner gift that lands because the joke is already theirs.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Beige \/ S","offer_id":44167003340865,"sku":"66616168109834409221","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ M","offer_id":44167003504705,"sku":"81496464043812125664","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ L","offer_id":44167003668545,"sku":"28515565590177700670","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ XL","offer_id":44167003832385,"sku":"30693013143795426687","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ 2XL","offer_id":44167003996225,"sku":"17047446107409512352","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ 3XL","offer_id":44167004127297,"sku":"24566082150574543749","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":44167003209793,"sku":"68104902365287030116","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":44167003373633,"sku":"23718875174309130115","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":44167003537473,"sku":"14667826221290485818","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":44167003701313,"sku":"13962094263201659605","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":44167003865153,"sku":"14564627998836955289","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":44167004160065,"sku":"16497232686692498113","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ S","offer_id":44167003242561,"sku":"81921162777747293838","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ M","offer_id":44167003406401,"sku":"79336459697689337416","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ L","offer_id":44167003570241,"sku":"83347683888708851453","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ XL","offer_id":44167003734081,"sku":"29649531169733479827","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":44167003897921,"sku":"24165227634313178239","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":44167004028993,"sku":"31809705993319001756","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ S","offer_id":44167003275329,"sku":"29665947582034040563","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ M","offer_id":44167003439169,"sku":"25335514562997143991","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ L","offer_id":44167003603009,"sku":"17984935699002286481","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ XL","offer_id":44167003766849,"sku":"11959766254505307309","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ 2XL","offer_id":44167003930689,"sku":"29873978264563275976","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ 3XL","offer_id":44167004061761,"sku":"16008802000511568224","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44167003308097,"sku":"17825818406491060799","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44167003471937,"sku":"47286218027254349066","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44167003635777,"sku":"17684771891187842552","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44167003799617,"sku":"11130751134018738329","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44167003963457,"sku":"13932959878084664934","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44167004094529,"sku":"37962601759463029364","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260711053221-1f17ce9e-3e6b-6af8-8934-b62b194cbf35.jpg?v=1783748046"},{"product_id":"i-told-you-you-couldnt-handle-this-pussy","title":"I TOLD YOU YOU COULDN'T HANDLE THIS PUSSY","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA deadpan black-and-white snapshot: some poor soul absolutely wrecked in a hospital bed — oxygen tube, IV drip, the whole near-death situation — while a black cat sits front and center, completely unbothered, staring dead-eyed into your soul. Wrapped in typewriter text around the wreckage: 'i told you ... you couldn't handle this pussy.' The cat did not come to comfort anyone. The cat came to be right.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe best part is the half-second delay — the moment someone reads it, processes it, and immediately looks at you like you have a problem. Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton means it's as dangerously soft as it is unhinged, and the cursed image print lands the double-take every single time.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eBuilt for the white elephant exchange that needs one truly chaotic entry, the naughty birthday unwrap that earns a full-room groan-laugh, or the dirty santa pull that everyone talks about on the drive home. Perfect for the black cat owner who has absolutely no shame, or anyone in your life who thinks they've seen it all — they haven't.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44167016513601,"sku":"89613956782732599495","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44167016677441,"sku":"89120564810893024143","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44167016841281,"sku":"12883915439332208917","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44167017005121,"sku":"22402820677107634927","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44167017168961,"sku":"16555153325671963656","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44167017332801,"sku":"24898853918453513559","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44167016415297,"sku":"26641385800553805696","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44167016579137,"sku":"22154623437417808163","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44167016742977,"sku":"61393422730848519752","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44167016906817,"sku":"24395437417314343788","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44167017070657,"sku":"12764330790164722809","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44167017234497,"sku":"22234315886156835062","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ S","offer_id":44167016480833,"sku":"53198006657053149676","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ M","offer_id":44167016644673,"sku":"50842627895122109432","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ L","offer_id":44167016808513,"sku":"31351412224268535265","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ XL","offer_id":44167016972353,"sku":"16026724143257848792","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":44167017136193,"sku":"28234181994530527764","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":44167017300033,"sku":"10504218944810089959","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ S","offer_id":44167016546369,"sku":"13350710643340626278","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ M","offer_id":44167016710209,"sku":"10806484008432179131","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ L","offer_id":44167016874049,"sku":"28957587777824906835","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ XL","offer_id":44167017037889,"sku":"55693390633221563419","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 2XL","offer_id":44167017201729,"sku":"24022171833336929451","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 3XL","offer_id":44167017365569,"sku":"28532836816969319226","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44167016448065,"sku":"27651495223636465645","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44167016611905,"sku":"24696569438618738135","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44167016775745,"sku":"14889840082669677309","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44167016939585,"sku":"73034269469141450170","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44167017103425,"sku":"11620656785976847533","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44167017267265,"sku":"13939500918500494643","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260711053530-1f17cea5-4122-659c-85fe-0edb510ef85c.jpg?v=1783748481"},{"product_id":"the-wand-chooses-the-wizard","title":"THE WAND CHOOSES THE WIZARD","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA deadpan vintage engraving of a robed wizard — pointed hat, long beard, flowing robes — holds a Magic Wand massager aloft in both hands like he's casting the spell of a lifetime, flanked by split serif text reading 'The Wand Chooses The Wizard.' The art is so committed to the bit, so genuinely solemn, that you almost miss it.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe best moment is watching someone squint, clock it, and then absolutely lose it — that three-second delay is the whole payoff. Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton means it's as solid as the commitment to the bit.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe bachelorette gift bag that makes the whole party scream, the white elephant table's undisputed winner, or a naughty birthday for anyone who loves a wizard wand and already thinks they've seen everything.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44174968684609,"sku":"10983675749952187104","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44174968815681,"sku":"30711444627196179510","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44174968946753,"sku":"13215414934235593517","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44174969077825,"sku":"30329449302254080002","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44174969208897,"sku":"21015830013926622756","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44174969339969,"sku":"52260503380283935669","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44174968619073,"sku":"25144520397843427485","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44174968750145,"sku":"26157594700736235746","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44174968881217,"sku":"27080938407700742419","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44174969012289,"sku":"22548338460779316643","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44174969143361,"sku":"37385215660810547150","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44174969274433,"sku":"19519630857451037622","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ S","offer_id":44174968717377,"sku":"26385420167156750675","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ M","offer_id":44174968848449,"sku":"18150047581685763889","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ L","offer_id":44174968979521,"sku":"21485479725561873832","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ XL","offer_id":44174969110593,"sku":"22893923520900001142","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 2XL","offer_id":44174969241665,"sku":"10947557052212828792","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 3XL","offer_id":44174969372737,"sku":"51644425922992310155","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ S","offer_id":44174968651841,"sku":"71879031641284656786","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ M","offer_id":44174968782913,"sku":"27048461566956163033","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ L","offer_id":44174968913985,"sku":"10833777249487138171","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ XL","offer_id":44174969045057,"sku":"22516255848458295978","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":44174969176129,"sku":"24722005535713615713","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":44174969307201,"sku":"33394184578425200696","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260711200237-1f17d637-70f4-675e-9715-46d001295faf.jpg?v=1783800221"},{"product_id":"never-skip-finger-day","title":"NEVER SKIP FINGER DAY","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA distressed varsity-style graphic of a single finger — one raised, curled index — hoisting a loaded barbell overhead, arched over the bold block slogan 'Never Skip Finger Day.' It reads like a legitimate gym motivation shirt right up until it doesn't. The second read hits like a PR you weren't expecting.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThis is the inappropriate gym shirt that makes the group chat lose it before you've even pulled it out of the bag — printed on Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton that fits like you earned it.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe white elephant exchange where someone always brings something unhinged, a naughty birthday for the gym rat who lives at the squat rack, or a dead-serious gag gift for a personal trainer or lifter who thinks they've seen every funny gym shirt the internet has to offer. Anyone buying for a gym-obsessed friend who can take a dirty joke — this is the one.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44184197890113,"sku":"22286446365143175334","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44184198053953,"sku":"13667595291811158004","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44184198217793,"sku":"28198916785841619450","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44184198381633,"sku":"13116890052568624245","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44184198545473,"sku":"26959362662570064619","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44184198709313,"sku":"65936860264117681576","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44184197922881,"sku":"18920604160484246209","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44184198086721,"sku":"13229732598738567269","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44184198250561,"sku":"28704497741038746334","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44184198414401,"sku":"17254507885126069114","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44184198578241,"sku":"19126397782545344355","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44184198774849,"sku":"29177494616983075832","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44184197988417,"sku":"86127945124081495554","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44184198152257,"sku":"26302142992673425266","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44184198316097,"sku":"25626170574780401799","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44184198479937,"sku":"32163722243207869428","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44184198643777,"sku":"81729669649371013921","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44184198807617,"sku":"16509997730207125371","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ S","offer_id":44184198021185,"sku":"10361553297788852053","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ M","offer_id":44184198185025,"sku":"24941083168366761325","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ L","offer_id":44184198348865,"sku":"29517910106697235295","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ XL","offer_id":44184198512705,"sku":"33669286769580235325","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 2XL","offer_id":44184198676545,"sku":"29306209233582888049","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 3XL","offer_id":44184198840385,"sku":"26582832815075985911","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ S","offer_id":44184197955649,"sku":"96300200813299063452","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ M","offer_id":44184198119489,"sku":"30095268233795974599","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ L","offer_id":44184198283329,"sku":"69703110724076736984","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ XL","offer_id":44184198447169,"sku":"30346660747717312957","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":44184198611009,"sku":"32288178313877083655","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":44184198742081,"sku":"15017884933906213355","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260712163622-1f17e0fd-14ec-6ce2-8563-fe93ecef86c2.jpg?v=1783874526"},{"product_id":"i-squirt-on-the-first-date","title":"I SQUIRT ON THE FIRST DATE","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA cheerful little spray-can mascot — rubber-hose arms, rosy cheeks, the whole vintage deal — grins back at you from a checkerboard band surrounded by sparkles, proudly squirting a puffy white mist into the air. Chunky cream and pink bubble letters spell out 'I SQUIRT ON THE FIRST DATE.' The mascot looks genuinely delighted about it.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe double-take is the whole point — someone clocks the cartoon first, then the text, then their face does something incredible. Printed on Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton that's as soft as it is unhinged, this one earns a reaction every single time.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe white elephant exchange, or the over-21 birthday of the friend who swears nothing shocks them anymore. It shocks them.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44184318017601,"sku":"98775600492744192752","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44184318181441,"sku":"90734605461030233743","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44184318345281,"sku":"70782617842354059515","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44184318509121,"sku":"20144251250854391126","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44184318672961,"sku":"84534536945309033836","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44184318836801,"sku":"15040467961672113304","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ S","offer_id":44184318148673,"sku":"27487443971259097643","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ M","offer_id":44184318312513,"sku":"32980873506388432295","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ L","offer_id":44184318476353,"sku":"33227559807585732319","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ XL","offer_id":44184318640193,"sku":"14520546259931034000","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 2XL","offer_id":44184318804033,"sku":"32537556962307473942","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 3XL","offer_id":44184318967873,"sku":"24386248868292208417","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44184318115905,"sku":"20099008962606847687","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44184318279745,"sku":"24520152479734869918","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44184318443585,"sku":"20305915444014654669","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44184318607425,"sku":"20674620423515912809","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44184318771265,"sku":"62255932020120278739","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44184318935105,"sku":"81979153178417983585","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ S","offer_id":44184318083137,"sku":"83184088192458510476","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ M","offer_id":44184318246977,"sku":"22048538453497353815","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ L","offer_id":44184318410817,"sku":"81967446492493458160","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ XL","offer_id":44184318574657,"sku":"33762093083883297700","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":44184318738497,"sku":"11808729930191196578","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":44184318902337,"sku":"18554172962689262932","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44184318050369,"sku":"24304294019820042377","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44184318214209,"sku":"28240998569656600428","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44184318378049,"sku":"30933313047713636713","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44184318541889,"sku":"11843054874524175968","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44184318705729,"sku":"53787448957008845127","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44184318869569,"sku":"63686343716721403480","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260712175132-1f17e1a5-1169-6158-8161-be9fac4b5e33.jpg?v=1783879001"},{"product_id":"much-cuter-with-something-in-my-mouth","title":"MUCH CUTER WITH SOMETHING IN MY MOUTH","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA 1950s pin-up in a pink polka-dot bandana sits pretty at the diner counter, cherry-topped strawberry milkshake in hand — the kind of retro rockabilly scene that belongs on a vintage postcard. Bold red varsity lettering arches overhead: 'MUCH CUTER WITH SOMETHING IN MY MOUTH.' The milkshake is right there. The innocence is entirely optional.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe best part is the three-second delay — the wholesome setup, the vintage pin-up charm, and then the exact moment someone reads the lettering and has to decide how to react. It's the shirt that gets photographed before you leave the house and ruins the group chat before you've even arrived. Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton means it looks and feels like a cherished find, not a novelty tee — which only makes the punchline hit harder.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eBuilt for bachelorette weekends, dirty Santa swaps, and white elephant exchanges that finally have a winner. It's the naughty birthday gift for the person who already thinks they've seen everything — they haven't.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Beige \/ S","offer_id":44192277528641,"sku":"14418649179510164635","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ M","offer_id":44192277790785,"sku":"80476552320941610979","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ L","offer_id":44192278052929,"sku":"48804496982434129477","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ XL","offer_id":44192278315073,"sku":"60808462133683931544","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ 2XL","offer_id":44192278577217,"sku":"63984199795589808802","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ 3XL","offer_id":44192278773825,"sku":"27958750322690910766","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44192277364801,"sku":"57345491770567484693","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44192277626945,"sku":"27134670597822602056","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44192277889089,"sku":"29381468271992284971","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44192278151233,"sku":"20380920834808579998","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44192278413377,"sku":"28871768993299299038","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44192278675521,"sku":"11942015866076640140","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44192277397569,"sku":"53900154660259366746","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44192277659713,"sku":"26974978698077507695","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44192277921857,"sku":"26030975459528275315","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44192278184001,"sku":"26708062827420007757","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44192278446145,"sku":"27127679288105788611","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44192278806593,"sku":"65293889033965871423","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":44192277430337,"sku":"32123962934557863151","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":44192277692481,"sku":"32628692665616486992","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":44192277954625,"sku":"12357558706244264409","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":44192278216769,"sku":"12214028670005424015","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":44192278478913,"sku":"17191375661200790828","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":44192278872129,"sku":"18740529098610931476","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ S","offer_id":44192277463105,"sku":"11246478381187098276","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ M","offer_id":44192277725249,"sku":"12998257406278441052","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ L","offer_id":44192277987393,"sku":"28396033299386176804","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ XL","offer_id":44192278249537,"sku":"27116084418285524184","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ 2XL","offer_id":44192278511681,"sku":"70174531406349998235","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ 3XL","offer_id":44192278708289,"sku":"14781436426715942505","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ S","offer_id":44192277495873,"sku":"62762024713798678210","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ M","offer_id":44192277758017,"sku":"27676986918387771717","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ L","offer_id":44192278020161,"sku":"11332612394875353500","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ XL","offer_id":44192278282305,"sku":"91424440536847381684","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":44192278544449,"sku":"18684526379882276646","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":44192278741057,"sku":"19982125809031124158","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44192277561409,"sku":"98384055293694632673","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44192277823553,"sku":"32835352430481007870","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44192278085697,"sku":"22939812547204235424","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44192278347841,"sku":"15280246429296666075","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44192278609985,"sku":"28453645485599312062","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44192278839361,"sku":"16063449165803824757","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ S","offer_id":44192277594177,"sku":"74630068467219833942","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ M","offer_id":44192277856321,"sku":"24626810909856549860","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ L","offer_id":44192278118465,"sku":"66717887403720325796","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ XL","offer_id":44192278380609,"sku":"27370042942836206120","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 2XL","offer_id":44192278642753,"sku":"23027788140072874638","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 3XL","offer_id":44192278904897,"sku":"22223862094028404559","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/ivory_d196a9cc-5228-46f5-9f5b-8e48d64fd41c.jpg?v=1783982394"},{"product_id":"i-didnt-even-fuck-around-why-am-i-finding-out","title":"I DIDN'T EVEN FUCK AROUND, WHY AM I FINDING OUT","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA prim Victorian figure sits at a proper tea table, one gloved hand pressed dramatically to the forehead — the picture of refined distress, straight out of a nineteenth-century engraving. Then the typewriter callouts hit: 'I didn't even fuck around.' and 'Why am I finding out?' It's the FAFO inversion nobody asked for and everyone needed. Did everything right. Still got wrecked. Relatable.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe best part is the delayed reaction — polite vintage illustration from across the room, existential crisis up close. Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton means it's soft enough to wear through every unfair situation life throws at you, which, statistically, is a lot. Send a photo to the group chat before you leave the house and watch it go feral.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eBuilt for the white elephant exchange, the secret santa who actually wants to win, or the birthday of the responsible one in the friend group who just got blindsided by something completely not their fault. Also a strong 'this isn't on you' gift for anyone in a bad-luck stretch — the kind of knowing, dark-humor solidarity that lands better than a card ever could.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":44210030215233,"sku":"41854313194484869962","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":44210030411841,"sku":"79028839774822855460","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":44210030608449,"sku":"77136901171771468603","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":44210030805057,"sku":"22357587570346628887","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":44210031001665,"sku":"42562703254714240582","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":44210031362113,"sku":"26492903433578447948","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44210030313537,"sku":"17356639898421062691","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44210030510145,"sku":"23134522541883385890","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44210030706753,"sku":"26716693138395342071","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44210030903361,"sku":"29871334111722572806","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44210031099969,"sku":"29610016027585486842","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44210031263809,"sku":"14788302424264373688","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ S","offer_id":44210030280769,"sku":"33058751367277239261","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ M","offer_id":44210030477377,"sku":"10389099178473209165","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ L","offer_id":44210030673985,"sku":"33825540977770602879","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ XL","offer_id":44210030870593,"sku":"26819062710933006615","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ 2XL","offer_id":44210031067201,"sku":"77053182308283789996","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ 3XL","offer_id":44210031198273,"sku":"76771117048943546537","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple \/ S","offer_id":44210030379073,"sku":"19943202432252948150","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple \/ M","offer_id":44210030575681,"sku":"55122371703634797307","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple \/ L","offer_id":44210030772289,"sku":"48054837812414299349","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple \/ XL","offer_id":44210030968897,"sku":"34003571429964937253","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple \/ 2XL","offer_id":44210031165505,"sku":"28752614257141268398","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple \/ 3XL","offer_id":44210031329345,"sku":"41273387160185225729","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ S","offer_id":44210030346305,"sku":"58061319423302377083","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ M","offer_id":44210030542913,"sku":"24993465761566777086","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ L","offer_id":44210030739521,"sku":"11217748236049330918","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ XL","offer_id":44210030936129,"sku":"23108221440695763881","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ 2XL","offer_id":44210031132737,"sku":"21058527560960386197","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beige \/ 3XL","offer_id":44210031296577,"sku":"22042025887242118983","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ S","offer_id":44210030248001,"sku":"31340012081227711598","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ M","offer_id":44210030444609,"sku":"11539935253325741759","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ L","offer_id":44210030641217,"sku":"27925428784078290157","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ XL","offer_id":44210030837825,"sku":"11887329213128131599","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ 2XL","offer_id":44210031034433,"sku":"19904334927418225199","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ 3XL","offer_id":44210031231041,"sku":"77259308243978425818","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260715231541-1f180a31-946b-6556-ab92-da711bc7b39e.jpg?v=1784158272"},{"product_id":"voted-best-fuck-of-the-year","title":"VOTED BEST FUCK OF THE YEAR","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA gold trophy sits inside a formal laurel wreath — the kind of graphic you'd see on an award plaque, a certificate of excellence, something you'd hang in a lobby. The official typography seals the deal. It reads: 'Voted Best Fuck of the Year.'\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe double-take is instant. Someone clocks the trophy, the wreath, the whole dignified presentation — and then they read it. On a Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton tee that gets softer every wash, it's the kind of dirty adult shirt that earns a reaction before you've said a word.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eAn anniversary, a just-because, Valentine's Day, a bachelorette weekend — anywhere you need a gag gift that doubles as actual recognition. White elephant, dirty santa, a birthday for the friend who collects the most unhinged shirts they can find — this one holds up.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44214177792065,"sku":"18375712788366650937","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44214177955905,"sku":"13586301089544427234","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44214178119745,"sku":"69595459198583144532","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44214178283585,"sku":"19653663150527403513","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44214178447425,"sku":"12217782408412582477","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44214178611265,"sku":"31934253944262057002","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44214177890369,"sku":"66996276838266234227","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44214178054209,"sku":"30987868674370206820","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44214178218049,"sku":"21187616615601590302","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44214178381889,"sku":"82961386781714556147","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44214178545729,"sku":"31667552287045243880","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44214178709569,"sku":"55364332525713563842","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44214177824833,"sku":"24148039430900905403","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44214177988673,"sku":"63775726778320027089","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44214178152513,"sku":"86526463283989266061","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44214178316353,"sku":"83682913208287700052","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44214178480193,"sku":"88593477565468675403","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44214178676801,"sku":"12115077530090008465","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ S","offer_id":44214177857601,"sku":"15374760062189371853","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ M","offer_id":44214178021441,"sku":"29881697187116456219","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ L","offer_id":44214178185281,"sku":"27983659550310565104","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ XL","offer_id":44214178349121,"sku":"22339028213946854902","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":44214178512961,"sku":"24339652485030111953","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":44214178644033,"sku":"95697034543938444386","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ S","offer_id":44214177923137,"sku":"19980439598136511226","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ M","offer_id":44214178086977,"sku":"13319463712495592619","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ L","offer_id":44214178250817,"sku":"73240127158522518298","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ XL","offer_id":44214178414657,"sku":"69635748698668101165","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 2XL","offer_id":44214178578497,"sku":"78623598378733855592","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 3XL","offer_id":44214178742337,"sku":"16420726524666915398","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/black_5989de4d-5c9b-4cce-82bf-d6be7d7fb3c8.jpg?v=1784191000"},{"product_id":"creepin-aint-easy","title":"CREEPIN' AIN'T EASY","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA photoreal skeleton stares back at you in stark monochrome — cigarette dangling from its teeth, smoke curling upward in no particular hurry — above the typewriter-set phrase 'creepin' ain't easy.' The skeleton has no notes.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThis is the shirt for the person who wears a skeleton shirt in July like it's a personality — and they're right to. Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton means it hits that perfectly broken-in vintage graphic tee feel fast, and the deadpan energy does the rest.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eWhite elephant exchange, spooky season birthday, secret santa, Halloween party, gag gift for the dark humor friend, the designated creep of the friend group, the smoker who thinks they've seen every skeleton shirt — they haven't seen this one.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44219840856129,"sku":"13064588826404395843","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44219841019969,"sku":"29434547756107475454","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44219841183809,"sku":"16182953960304748709","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44219841347649,"sku":"17362941657279366281","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44219841511489,"sku":"17319875264576388584","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44219841675329,"sku":"91979919192107287963","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44219840757825,"sku":"37595316479733933593","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44219840921665,"sku":"31715488606892888773","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44219841085505,"sku":"40832238867247438728","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44219841249345,"sku":"26710092215696667705","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44219841413185,"sku":"27394092292271878754","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44219841577025,"sku":"24767861374811349436","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44219840790593,"sku":"87976833124574788382","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44219840954433,"sku":"30258521983192018740","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44219841118273,"sku":"46832629180024302193","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44219841282113,"sku":"31521731809680684233","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44219841445953,"sku":"25531577598106906694","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44219841642561,"sku":"28936506004189978722","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ S","offer_id":44219840823361,"sku":"29866426029926421779","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ M","offer_id":44219840987201,"sku":"29860214654780528252","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ L","offer_id":44219841151041,"sku":"30302995438698597407","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ XL","offer_id":44219841314881,"sku":"15867647255480617761","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":44219841478721,"sku":"15626865576879522130","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":44219841609793,"sku":"15250140463337985049","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ S","offer_id":44219840888897,"sku":"31827993512831594435","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ M","offer_id":44219841052737,"sku":"31620879277087803682","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ L","offer_id":44219841216577,"sku":"21209327164438525779","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ XL","offer_id":44219841380417,"sku":"13583155101033029016","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 2XL","offer_id":44219841544257,"sku":"33330818707587603282","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 3XL","offer_id":44219841708097,"sku":"72597644744876772586","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260717104740-1f181cce-ebf0-670e-b072-c2cc434f18c1.jpg?v=1784285409"},{"product_id":"bone-daddy","title":"BONE DADDY","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA skeleton is fully reclined in a fur coat, dripping gold chains, rocking dark shades and a full grill — the kind of composed, effortless flex that takes decades to perfect, which tracks, given the source. Behind them, purple lightning splits the sky like the universe itself is paying respects. Arched across the top in chrome 3D lettering: BONE DADDY. Bad 2 the bone never looked this loaded.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe moment someone clocks the chrome lettering against the lightning-storm backdrop and then actually reads what it says, the group chat is cooked — someone will screenshot it before you've even sat down. This bootleg rap tee parody is printed on Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton, so it's the softest, most lived-in flex in the room while also being the most unhinged thing anyone's wearing.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eBuilt for the white elephant exchange where someone always goes too hard, the naughty birthday haul, or the secret santa situation where you actually know the person's entire personality. The ideal find for anyone in your life who wears big energy as a lifestyle choice and has been waiting for a retro spooky shirt that goes this hard without trying — they'll wear it in October and refuse to take it off in January.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44219850948673,"sku":"14209059944871777719","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44219851046977,"sku":"30583134347865869524","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44219851145281,"sku":"11391489858200303006","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44219851243585,"sku":"18075542387457761922","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44219851341889,"sku":"15095970164024393982","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44219851440193,"sku":"18167381920767584708","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44219851014209,"sku":"66498593975217220465","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44219851112513,"sku":"25644973864588294340","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44219851210817,"sku":"78743391538898857945","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44219851309121,"sku":"17680635411062739574","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44219851407425,"sku":"17500570476698537424","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44219851505729,"sku":"19101800952344739832","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44219850981441,"sku":"30670630703090055859","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44219851079745,"sku":"11909090210893232876","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44219851178049,"sku":"29983533150188369705","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44219851276353,"sku":"16999114233140956707","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44219851374657,"sku":"23362237143478971285","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44219851472961,"sku":"10737415377111428118","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260717105039-1f181cd5-9756-6f48-9bef-fa32b486e4d2.jpg?v=1784285565"},{"product_id":"cowgirl-is-my-cardio","title":"COWGIRL IS MY CARDIO","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA retro-striped sunset badge, a cowgirl hat, a bucking bronco — the whole scene is an extremely wholesome celebration of equestrian athleticism. It is not that. 'Cowgirl Is My Cardio' arcs across the bottom in classic western script, and the moment the other meaning lands, there's nothing you can do about it.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe person next to you will nod approvingly at the western art, then short-circuit when the other meaning lands — and that four-second delay is the entire payoff. Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton means you'll be wearing this raunchy little double-entendre for years, getting softer with every wash.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe bachelorette-weekend tee, the white elephant steal, or the naughty birthday gift for the friend who claims they've seen every inappropriate shirt on the internet. They haven't seen this one.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44224064618561,"sku":"12284799230288406559","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44224064782401,"sku":"39037814676351847459","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44224064946241,"sku":"65843755820576279817","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44224065110081,"sku":"31208370439304171481","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44224065273921,"sku":"15186503388751656119","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44224065437761,"sku":"20852437731844838245","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44224064651329,"sku":"12331498787006466980","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44224064815169,"sku":"25672117212957280781","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44224064979009,"sku":"41146267357349139204","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44224065142849,"sku":"20705671751715837819","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44224065306689,"sku":"28648852820507256351","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44224065503297,"sku":"30502945581388886829","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44224064716865,"sku":"17303440469174640874","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44224064880705,"sku":"32166597117825390212","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44224065044545,"sku":"29585284703553284492","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44224065208385,"sku":"23568818993093273620","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44224065372225,"sku":"25177797475579144697","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44224065536065,"sku":"12062684964132755783","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ S","offer_id":44224064749633,"sku":"15747616214171206670","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ M","offer_id":44224064913473,"sku":"13683353985082307250","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ L","offer_id":44224065077313,"sku":"22282562641729150593","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ XL","offer_id":44224065241153,"sku":"11160978547488369298","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 2XL","offer_id":44224065404993,"sku":"31042767284274931986","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 3XL","offer_id":44224065568833,"sku":"44091966415210421486","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ S","offer_id":44224064684097,"sku":"16901301205068792095","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ M","offer_id":44224064847937,"sku":"49551770498807041867","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ L","offer_id":44224065011777,"sku":"15850617761815843837","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ XL","offer_id":44224065175617,"sku":"35695492199759981955","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":44224065339457,"sku":"12211490774210063650","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":44224065470529,"sku":"84343400740294473320","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260718142426-1f182b46-10d7-6484-bddf-269572f77702.jpg?v=1784384805"},{"product_id":"i-tie-my-hair-back-to-eat-pickles","title":"I TIE MY HAIR BACK TO EAT PICKLES","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA retro-cartoon pickle in oversized sunglasses reclines poolside with a pink cocktail, a beach umbrella overhead, sparkles catching the light — the kind of kawaii snack art that belongs on a lunchbox or a birthday card for a nine-year-old. Groovy pastel bubble lettering frames the whole precious scene: 'I Tie My Hair Back To Eat Pickles.' The visual is completely innocent. The sentence is absolutely not.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe best moment isn't wearing it — it's watching someone read it, get halfway through, and then stop. The group chat will lose it before you've even left the parking lot, and the Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton means you'll be comfortable while everyone else is processing. Plausible deniability fully intact. Worth it.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe white elephant steal that ends the party, the bachelorette weekend shirt that gets photographed approximately forty times, or a naughty birthday gift for the pickle-obsessed, chronically-online friend who thinks they've seen every inappropriate shirt the internet has to offer. They haven't seen this one yet.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44224091390017,"sku":"15990069640072241621","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44224091553857,"sku":"26114650885229771906","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44224091717697,"sku":"27572839227268042617","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44224091881537,"sku":"23012303201775585000","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44224092045377,"sku":"15445678311627109377","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44224092209217,"sku":"14696260844893438012","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44224091422785,"sku":"27350863892693658006","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44224091586625,"sku":"72202189666712674049","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44224091750465,"sku":"15914806125015539953","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44224091914305,"sku":"28509389363797907422","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44224092078145,"sku":"16218511796340126216","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44224092274753,"sku":"40645650974192691326","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44224091488321,"sku":"52199216835365892781","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44224091652161,"sku":"95545406751594688601","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44224091816001,"sku":"24270464799762484694","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44224091979841,"sku":"26478947964135959634","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44224092143681,"sku":"10559109388499118874","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44224092307521,"sku":"24092803147360085387","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ S","offer_id":44224091521089,"sku":"29328828762591424184","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ M","offer_id":44224091684929,"sku":"12612146689266685765","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ L","offer_id":44224091848769,"sku":"18456327733700158965","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ XL","offer_id":44224092012609,"sku":"55672155113681520934","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 2XL","offer_id":44224092176449,"sku":"67311427950540736311","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 3XL","offer_id":44224092340289,"sku":"10216297085742183812","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ S","offer_id":44224091455553,"sku":"24870863555186850778","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ M","offer_id":44224091619393,"sku":"81171243059880520040","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ L","offer_id":44224091783233,"sku":"31346844606702721887","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ XL","offer_id":44224091947073,"sku":"32571614127387483620","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":44224092110913,"sku":"69298791194389304704","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":44224092241985,"sku":"69887358873896839563","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260718143937-1f182b68-0979-6f94-b348-2ae743c79e09.jpg?v=1784385693"},{"product_id":"halloween-cat-shirt","title":"HALLOWEEN CAT SHIRT","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA brown tabby cat is out here trick-or-treating — witch hat, orange-and-black scarf, jack-o'-lantern candy pail raised in one paw — standing on a porch walkway lined with glowing carved pumpkins at dusk like this is completely normal and none of your business. The whole thing is photoreal: warm pumpkin light, real porch, real dusk. No printed text. No punchline. Just the stare. Also: if you own a brown tabby, you already know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe best part is watching someone clock the cat's face and go quiet for a second. On Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton that gets softer with every wash — and yes, you're wearing this in August, because that's who you are, and it holds up for the full three months of spooky season. Three months.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Halloween cat shirt for anyone whose porch is fully decorated by September 1 and who wants a wearable spooky season flag — not a costume, not a slogan tee. Good for October birthdays, office white elephant, cat rescue and shelter volunteer circles, and anyone shopping for the person in their life who treats their cat as family and already started the autumn aesthetic before Labor Day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44227860234305,"sku":"30181902520822381616","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44227860365377,"sku":"13408688423891097153","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44227860496449,"sku":"10145949927274332572","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44227860627521,"sku":"63587948270108144957","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44227860758593,"sku":"11044679654472383055","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44227860889665,"sku":"33618964489190792797","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":44227860267073,"sku":"15932279048853887121","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":44227860398145,"sku":"89868293881981124798","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":44227860529217,"sku":"16888936238582174825","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":44227860660289,"sku":"10436616328358250114","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":44227860791361,"sku":"84987635010311138592","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":44227860955201,"sku":"20413400470134631294","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44227860299841,"sku":"27109934616479963509","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44227860430913,"sku":"82462738471647229887","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44227860561985,"sku":"27216929577508896260","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44227860693057,"sku":"16609006470858732003","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44227860824129,"sku":"75908351061328887593","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44227860922433,"sku":"86338441721276394632","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orange \/ S","offer_id":44227860332609,"sku":"46048622311683360933","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orange \/ M","offer_id":44227860463681,"sku":"12119659366409113019","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orange \/ L","offer_id":44227860594753,"sku":"36159608890037659841","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orange \/ XL","offer_id":44227860725825,"sku":"72716496983339628248","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orange \/ 2XL","offer_id":44227860856897,"sku":"23221944168664887646","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orange \/ 3XL","offer_id":44227860987969,"sku":"13385280150432123946","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260719182544-1f1839f4-1300-63b6-8fec-1e9e1a42684b.jpg?v=1784485934"},{"product_id":"ask-your-dealer-if-marijuana-is-right-for-you","title":"ASK YOUR DEALER IF MARIJUANA IS RIGHT FOR YOU","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA vintage-engraving illustration of an amber prescription pill bottle — Rx label, childproof cap, packed with cannabis buds — sits next to a lit joint, rendered in the kind of meticulous detail you'd find in a 19th-century medical textbook. Arching over it in retro baseball script: 'Ask Your Dealer If Marijuana Is Right For You.' Completely straight face.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton hits different when the shirt wearing it is this unhinged — someone across the room will squint, take a step closer, and then just go quiet for a second. That second is the whole thing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe 420 white elephant gift that actually wins the exchange, the naughty birthday present for the person in your life who's been self-medicating longer than their GP has known about it, or a solid contribution to any secret santa where 'funny' is the only brief. Cannabis tshirt, weed gifts, done.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44242321440833,"sku":"74814858070945215623","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44242321604673,"sku":"59236815325822319375","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44242321768513,"sku":"76917987911737377856","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44242321932353,"sku":"78563294145084041624","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44242322096193,"sku":"21905176271382748500","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44242322260033,"sku":"25413853023380717609","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44242321473601,"sku":"13057076294675659789","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44242321637441,"sku":"60658367386135666058","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44242321801281,"sku":"11027230982121551022","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44242321965121,"sku":"30880302357008904257","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44242322128961,"sku":"21900703733514169011","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44242322325569,"sku":"15682961589464230349","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ S","offer_id":44242321506369,"sku":"22588913518808914415","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ M","offer_id":44242321670209,"sku":"13028667010195630285","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ L","offer_id":44242321834049,"sku":"11288665036364009152","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ XL","offer_id":44242321997889,"sku":"23521304419116383875","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":44242322161729,"sku":"87391901950770254000","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":44242322292801,"sku":"30206740091985215242","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44242321539137,"sku":"15789538309034348814","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44242321702977,"sku":"79617456502060308931","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44242321866817,"sku":"13675904130092784522","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44242322030657,"sku":"81486104267667743612","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44242322194497,"sku":"18922613137991679055","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44242322358337,"sku":"31173147429780080267","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ S","offer_id":44242321571905,"sku":"22074426324625168541","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ M","offer_id":44242321735745,"sku":"86220902646396596622","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ L","offer_id":44242321899585,"sku":"21370293498868856272","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ XL","offer_id":44242322063425,"sku":"26576451469361587387","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 2XL","offer_id":44242322227265,"sku":"30176062161302721954","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 3XL","offer_id":44242322391105,"sku":"37975605216918454024","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260722004037-1f18565f-52e8-6e6a-90bf-de3b6a63474c.jpg?v=1784682623"},{"product_id":"do-these-boobs-make-my-brain-look-small","title":"DO THESE BOOBS MAKE MY BRAIN LOOK SMALL","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA sweet 1950s storybook princess gazes into a hand mirror deep in an enchanted forest — soft linework, woodland magic, the kind of image that belongs on a nursery wall. Then your eyes drift down to the caption: DO THESE BOOBS MAKE MY BRAIN LOOK SMALL. The contrast does exactly what you think it does.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe art reads innocent for just long enough that the caption hits twice as hard — and whoever's standing next to you gets a delayed reaction that is genuinely worth the price of the shirt. Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton, because if you're going to say something deeply inappropriate, you should at least be comfortable doing it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhite elephant, bachelorette weekend, a naughty birthday, or the raunchy shirt connoisseur in your life who thinks they've already seen everything. They haven't seen this.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44246525182017,"sku":"18721564042257179849","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44246525345857,"sku":"14396758193095657406","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44246525509697,"sku":"30455941413379678408","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44246525673537,"sku":"84842348889246133623","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44246525837377,"sku":"19440009848622593488","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44246526001217,"sku":"63846316061164524480","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44246525214785,"sku":"24246638238787647542","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44246525378625,"sku":"81349123059952669309","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44246525542465,"sku":"18358042768144231824","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44246525706305,"sku":"22553896589103930137","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44246525870145,"sku":"24183856565986807422","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44246526033985,"sku":"18574554425393480945","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ S","offer_id":44246525247553,"sku":"68336542904928785464","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ M","offer_id":44246525411393,"sku":"15358581716903909676","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ L","offer_id":44246525575233,"sku":"11458149149734371031","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ XL","offer_id":44246525739073,"sku":"14819443137401169476","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":44246525902913,"sku":"20535603042671739968","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44246525280321,"sku":"31997765418047028913","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44246525444161,"sku":"58538817981001843559","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44246525608001,"sku":"67682890548655383789","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44246525771841,"sku":"11683039097996510164","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44246525935681,"sku":"12310431153933844168","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44246526066753,"sku":"90319811998329266921","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ S","offer_id":44246525313089,"sku":"17702965442527557620","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ M","offer_id":44246525476929,"sku":"17317908589683848701","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ L","offer_id":44246525640769,"sku":"13538321340280469543","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ XL","offer_id":44246525804609,"sku":"33453277693574425872","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 2XL","offer_id":44246525968449,"sku":"29934619271203926096","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 3XL","offer_id":44246526099521,"sku":"39302142093801982700","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260722231336-1f18622f-7994-6768-a78b-2a9ba1c706bd.jpg?v=1784762202"},{"product_id":"i-put-her-squirt-in-my-humidifier","title":"I PUT HER SQUIRT IN MY HUMIDIFIER","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA grinning retro pitchman in a mustard cardigan presents a misting ultrasonic humidifier with the full sincerity of a 1950s appliance ad. Underneath, bold distressed type reads \"I PUT HER SQUIRT IN MY HUMIDIFIER\" — and below that, in flowing greeting-card cursive: \"cause I can't breathe without her.\" The wholesome staging does the setup. The headline does the crime. The love note flips the whole thing into something almost sweet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe best part isn't wearing it — it's watching someone read the headline, stop, and then get to the cursive. Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton, the best blank in the game.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAn anniversary gag, a dirty white elephant exchange, a bachelorette weekend, a naughty birthday, or anyone in your life who thinks they've already seen the filthiest shirt in the room. They haven't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44246619816001,"sku":"29876655855447821181","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44246619914305,"sku":"11542413366111217267","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44246620012609,"sku":"32045392689675782743","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44246620110913,"sku":"26604433973707833321","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44246620209217,"sku":"31525179309774528049","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44246620307521,"sku":"28834122953073830577","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44246619881537,"sku":"12864020374405689814","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44246619979841,"sku":"24637914719938189398","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44246620078145,"sku":"51894751064527647496","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44246620176449,"sku":"27629755113755868979","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44246620274753,"sku":"10539158152385202856","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44246620340289,"sku":"18289726901207285216","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44246619848769,"sku":"51826190220415780834","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44246619947073,"sku":"26704062166736013747","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44246620045377,"sku":"25464759541827500872","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44246620143681,"sku":"76050705655448930320","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44246620241985,"sku":"19877812652474631172","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44246620373057,"sku":"33392208952229419158","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260723004313-1f1862f7-c3ed-6058-bd2c-de899eda8ab1.jpg?v=1784767508"},{"product_id":"call-me-cute-again","title":"CALL ME CUTE AGAIN","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA wide-eyed white kitten stares up at you — impossibly soft, impossibly innocent — one tiny paw wrapped around a wood-handled knife nearly as tall as she is. Below, in plain block letters: 'CALL ME CUTE AGAIN.' The kitten does not blink.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the half-second of delay before someone fully clocks it — then they lose it. Printed on Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton that gets softer every wash, so you'll be wearing this long after the bit stops being a bit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe friend who radiates deceptive sweetness and resting murder energy and has been called 'so cute' one too many times. Locks in as the white elephant win, the chaotic birthday pick, or the secret santa gift that makes everyone else's look mid.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44249949438017,"sku":"21062826779082316759","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44249949601857,"sku":"16590958141729956244","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44249949765697,"sku":"28570659776388185554","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44249949929537,"sku":"99809994985497311999","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44249950093377,"sku":"20433811881493016854","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44249950257217,"sku":"32710402976431544938","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44249949470785,"sku":"39661140967200987764","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44249949634625,"sku":"23625238417803626306","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44249949798465,"sku":"28499525804639270255","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44249949962305,"sku":"51540652654106079670","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44249950126145,"sku":"31338210775914713086","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44249950322753,"sku":"15193401160904934403","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ S","offer_id":44249949503553,"sku":"23975988690117702887","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ M","offer_id":44249949667393,"sku":"94777768514692718101","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ L","offer_id":44249949831233,"sku":"21876068793123450864","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ XL","offer_id":44249949995073,"sku":"12167350804364894118","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":44249950158913,"sku":"21779207906019950549","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":44249950289985,"sku":"32536671942888992737","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44249949536321,"sku":"22408934068526699615","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44249949700161,"sku":"41600713249265519283","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44249949864001,"sku":"16187385040692605726","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44249950027841,"sku":"13980930662959958800","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44249950191681,"sku":"95149096628291408501","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44249950355521,"sku":"32180163827736579640","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ S","offer_id":44249949569089,"sku":"29186977844859502742","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ M","offer_id":44249949732929,"sku":"28634832563693419512","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ L","offer_id":44249949896769,"sku":"24907628818826597302","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ XL","offer_id":44249950060609,"sku":"17343754482851992508","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 2XL","offer_id":44249950224449,"sku":"64322963893434350630","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 3XL","offer_id":44249950388289,"sku":"13283677609321539968","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260723222332-1f186e52-36e2-6a80-8c50-92bdfd18ef9e.jpg?v=1784845532"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/collections\/new-arrivals-1559780.jpg?v=1772979046","url":"https:\/\/teeheeusco.com\/collections\/new-drops.oembed?page=2","provider":"TeeHeeUSCo","version":"1.0","type":"link"}