{"product_id":"flight-was-never-an-option","title":"FLIGHT WAS NEVER AN OPTION","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA real photograph of an African penguin standing on a dim doorstep, lit cigarette clenched in its beak, kitchen knife gripped in one flipper, staring directly into your soul with the energy of someone who has nothing left to lose. Beneath it: 'Flight Was Never An Option.' The penguin does not care.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eSomeone clocks the cute penguin, then sees the knife, then goes quiet. That pause is the whole thing. Printed on Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eWhite elephant, a cursed birthday, secret santa for someone you actually know — or the chronically-online deadpan friend who has seen every unhinged animal meme and somehow not this one.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44091282325569,"sku":"95411327566338275203","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44091282423873,"sku":"27477459609100015532","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44091282522177,"sku":"81918604705560982404","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44091282620481,"sku":"30694432732310047722","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44091282718785,"sku":"27383091744016143762","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44091282817089,"sku":"30358209250456532842","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44091282391105,"sku":"32873462998983221013","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44091282489409,"sku":"11574615236277133923","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44091282587713,"sku":"60164098083183627807","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44091282686017,"sku":"12819494386076345212","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44091282784321,"sku":"63670906587971971179","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44091282849857,"sku":"31597520499925747109","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":44091282358337,"sku":"13370748126708674451","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":44091282456641,"sku":"13199929792172885690","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":44091282554945,"sku":"30740562316490976716","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":44091282653249,"sku":"15534261593581993899","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":44091282751553,"sku":"16537681001691604807","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":44091282882625,"sku":"62464949138883405832","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260627135039-1f1722f2-e798-6c14-be11-66d9a0df68b2.jpg?v=1782568307","url":"https:\/\/teeheeusco.com\/products\/flight-was-never-an-option","provider":"TeeHeeUSCo","version":"1.0","type":"link"}