{"product_id":"nut-in-my-eye-and-call-me-cyclops","title":"NUT IN MY EYE AND CALL ME CYCLOPS","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA classical greek bust — marble, bearded, distressed white halftone, the kind of thing that belongs in a museum — stares back at you with a single eye centered in its forehead. It's a cyclops. It's a greek statue. And underneath it, in the most cursed possible use of greek mythology, the words: 'nut in my eye and call me cyclops.' Homer did not write this chapter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe double-take is immediate — classical sculpture, one eye, and then the full weight of what they just read hits at once. It's the shirt that makes someone stop mid-sentence and just point. Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton means it actually gets worn, which is either a blessing or a public health concern.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhite elephant, dirty santa, or any gift exchange where you want to be the most unhinged person in the room — this is your entry. The perfect naughty birthday pull for the chronically-online friend who thinks they've seen everything, the bachelor party degenerate who quotes greek mythology ironically, or anyone in your life who deserves something bold, raunchy, and genuinely unforgettable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44250387185729,"sku":"24682060707139089366","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44250387349569,"sku":"13940031802635387827","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44250387513409,"sku":"94962373245621302794","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44250387677249,"sku":"18795461606767129188","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44250387841089,"sku":"19588614046705294952","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44250388004929,"sku":"39317978567262849278","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44250387218497,"sku":"10546811154930030690","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44250387382337,"sku":"85040182868989605624","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44250387546177,"sku":"31736271503624765676","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44250387710017,"sku":"15794208869882695467","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44250387873857,"sku":"15626466902551700656","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44250388070465,"sku":"31714871225592905551","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ S","offer_id":44250387251265,"sku":"28702918618416938617","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ M","offer_id":44250387415105,"sku":"25539884868812987575","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ L","offer_id":44250387578945,"sku":"63938280319119312903","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ XL","offer_id":44250387742785,"sku":"10022275289033407632","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":44250387906625,"sku":"11650737184847420804","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":44250388037697,"sku":"32539012037920387636","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44250387284033,"sku":"18834500498640226862","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44250387447873,"sku":"21760705404694926892","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44250387611713,"sku":"10233424880335400359","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44250387775553,"sku":"13452998211708263426","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44250387939393,"sku":"15621235756059708789","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44250388103233,"sku":"15804136106288363467","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ S","offer_id":44250387316801,"sku":"16070656263862979027","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ M","offer_id":44250387480641,"sku":"21169967471975337806","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ L","offer_id":44250387644481,"sku":"27147800404200287399","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ XL","offer_id":44250387808321,"sku":"31081131376558427735","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 2XL","offer_id":44250387972161,"sku":"18002177866316483360","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ 3XL","offer_id":44250388136001,"sku":"19666386856140034699","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/20260724002023-1f186f57-622a-67b4-9b8a-76d4c4af5f42.jpg?v=1784852520","url":"https:\/\/teeheeusco.com\/products\/nut-in-my-eye-and-call-me-cyclops","provider":"TeeHeeUSCo","version":"1.0","type":"link"}