{"product_id":"you-are-never-lonely-when-you-have-crabs","title":"YOU ARE NEVER LONELY WHEN YOU HAVE CRABS","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAbout This Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA vintage woodcut crab reclines in a striped beach chair at golden hour — sunglasses on, tropical cocktail raised, the picture of dignified coastal leisure. Bold retro lettering arches overhead: 'YOU ARE NEVER LONELY WHEN YOU HAVE CRABS.' So charming. So wholesome. So plausibly innocent. And then it isn't.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy You'll Love This Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eIt reads clean at the family crab boil and lands filthy the second someone actually reads it. Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton means it's the kind of shirt that gets softer every wash — which is good, because you're going to wear this one a lot.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe white elephant reveal that makes the whole room go quiet for one beat, then lose it. A booze cruise or summer beach trip where someone needs to be wearing this. Or the naughty birthday gift for the friend who swears nothing shocks them anymore. It will.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePremium Quality Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44069184733249,"sku":"30189924655919118896","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44069184864321,"sku":"10942513710079456374","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44069184995393,"sku":"14195479419997134215","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44069185126465,"sku":"26458221074235838653","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44069185257537,"sku":"23062136662613926938","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44069185388609,"sku":"51090969756002439514","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ S","offer_id":44069184766017,"sku":"25505051392448532297","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ M","offer_id":44069184897089,"sku":"12002509352564599703","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ L","offer_id":44069185028161,"sku":"20540292637134580261","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ XL","offer_id":44069185159233,"sku":"10777781468711841174","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":44069185290305,"sku":"15074563327071639359","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":44069185454145,"sku":"63199187965358605785","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ S","offer_id":44069184831553,"sku":"23449849351929701367","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ M","offer_id":44069184962625,"sku":"30796809805237324793","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ L","offer_id":44069185093697,"sku":"17839792880607108638","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ XL","offer_id":44069185224769,"sku":"28134151809273747808","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":44069185355841,"sku":"26613415659820101727","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":44069185486913,"sku":"25892097236811183848","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ S","offer_id":44069184798785,"sku":"11002346423111914697","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ M","offer_id":44069184929857,"sku":"47595381255443618756","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ L","offer_id":44069185060929,"sku":"55433271453932682943","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ XL","offer_id":44069185192001,"sku":"16309322821851659057","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":44069185323073,"sku":"17278761259095653006","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":44069185421377,"sku":"29289588763364750715","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/0794\/6817\/files\/black_42e944f8-f25e-420b-a7c0-6e63913b6ab0.jpg?v=1781909868","url":"https:\/\/teeheeusco.com\/products\/you-are-never-lonely-when-you-have-crabs","provider":"TeeHeeUSCo","version":"1.0","type":"link"}