RUNNER UP IN THE LOCAL D*CK SUCKING CONTEST
RUNNER UP IN THE LOCAL D*CK SUCKING CONTEST
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VINTAGE LOOK & FEEL
VINTAGE LOOK & FEEL
This is not a cheap feeling tee. Printed on a premium Comfort Colors® shirt, this tee perfectly drapes on you, with a relaxed streetwear-esque look.
PRINTED + SHIPPED IN THE US
PRINTED + SHIPPED IN THE US
Fuck Chinese manufacturer delays. You're getting fast, reliable delivery from our hands to your doorstep.
30-DAY REFUND/REPLACEMENT
30-DAY REFUND/REPLACEMENT
Not in love with your shirt? Send it back to us for a full refund and no hard feelings
SECURE PAYMENT
SECURE PAYMENT
We might be as unhinged as your are, but we do pride ourselves on being a legitimate business. We're not going anywhere, so you know where to find us.
Product Description
Congrats… almost. This “Runner-Up in the Local Dick Sucking Contest” shirt is the ultimate award for coming this close to glory (and losing to someone’s mom). Featuring a smug retro banana mascot strutting like he’s still a winner, this tee is perfect for anyone with a filthy sense of humor and zero shame. Printed on soft, high-quality Comfort Colors 1717 tees for that lived-in, vintage feel, it’s equally at home at the bar, the bachelor/bachelorette party, or the family cookout (if you hate peace).






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