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YOU ARE NEVER LONELY WHEN YOU HAVE CRABS
New Arrival
New Arrival

YOU ARE NEVER LONELY WHEN YOU HAVE CRABS

$30 or $25 each when you grab 2
Broken-in comfort from day one
Print that won't crack or fade
Gets softer every wash
ColorBlack
Size

Size Guide

Measure your body and match to the chart below.

SizeChestWaistHip
S34–36"27–29"35–37"
M38–40"31–33"39–41"
L42–44"35–37"43–45"
XL46–48"39–41"47–49"
2XL50–52"43–45"51–53"
3XL54–56"47–49"55–57"

How to Measure

  • Chest: Around the fullest part of your chest, tape parallel to the floor.
  • Waist: Around your natural waistline, tape comfortably loose.
  • Hip: Around the fullest part of your hips, ~8" below your waist.

These are unisex tees on Comfort Colors blanks and run true to size. Size up for a looser fit.

ShipsSun, Jun 21
🇺🇸 Fast US Shipping
Mix & Match
Fast Shipping Made to order in the USA
30-Day Guarantee Love it or return it
Comfort Colors® fits true to size with a relaxed, lived-in feel. If you're between sizes or like a looser fit, go up one. Check the size guide for exact measurements.
Orders ship within 2–3 days. Standard delivery takes 3–5 business days from there. You'll get a tracking number as soon as it's on its way.
Yes — the bundle discount applies to everything in the store. The builder above lets you grab 2 or 3 of this design in different colors and sizes. For different designs, just add each shirt to your cart separately and the bundle pricing applies automatically.

Sophie ,Allison and 9000+ others love our shirts!

Product Description

About This Design

A vintage woodcut crab reclines in a striped beach chair at golden hour — sunglasses on, tropical cocktail raised, the picture of dignified coastal leisure. Bold retro lettering arches overhead: 'YOU ARE NEVER LONELY WHEN YOU HAVE CRABS.' So charming. So wholesome. So plausibly innocent. And then it isn't.

Why You'll Love This Shirt

It reads clean at the family crab boil and lands filthy the second someone actually reads it. Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight cotton means it's the kind of shirt that gets softer every wash — which is good, because you're going to wear this one a lot.

Perfect For

The white elephant reveal that makes the whole room go quiet for one beat, then lose it. A booze cruise or summer beach trip where someone needs to be wearing this. Or the naughty birthday gift for the friend who swears nothing shocks them anymore. It will.

Premium Quality Details

  • Comfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee
  • 100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash
  • Relaxed unisex fit, runs true to size
  • Available in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL
  • Printed with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing
Quality & Feel

This is not a cheap feeling tee. Printed on a premium Comfort Colors® shirt, this tee perfectly drapes on you, with a relaxed streetwear-style look.

• Heavyweight, garment-dyed Comfort Colors 1717
• Vintage DTG-print feel, crack-resistant
• Unisex fit, true to size
• Designed by TeeHeeUSCo

Shipping & Returns
  • Free standard shipping on orders $75+
  • 30-day returns/exchanges if you're not in love with your shirt. Learn more.

Us vs. The Other Guys

See why thousands are making the switch

Fan Favorite
TeeHeeUSCo
Comfort
Premium Comfort Colors cotton that stays soft wash after wash
Designs
Hand-designed by professional artists — actually funny
Guarantee
Guaranteed reactions or your money back
Colors
20+ colors to match your vibe
Community
9,000+ happy degenerates and counting
Generic Tee Brands
Comfort
Thin, scratchy fabric you'll never want to wear again
Designs
Clip art from 2003 that nobody laughs at
Guarantee
Good luck navigating their return policy
Colors
Black or white — take it or leave it
Community
Tumbleweeds and unanswered support tickets
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"Wore it out running errands and received 2 compliments and lots of laughs. I fuhreaking love this shirt and couldn't be happier" - Hannah

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