Bad at small talk? Great at small cock? Finally, a shirt that does the bragging (and the roasting) for you. Featuring a smug retro rooster and the perfectly inappropriate “Not a Choking Hazard” speech callout, this Comfort Colors 1717 tee nails the worn-in vintage vibe with a little shock factor. Printed on our premium Comfort Colors heavyweight cotton for that soft, lived-in feel from day one. The distressed cream print on vintage colors makes it look like you’ve been rocking this sarcastic barnyard flex since the county fair of ‘76. Perfect for nights out, bar crawls, gag gifts, and anyone who thrives on “Did they really put that on a shirt?” moments.