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DON'T BITE THE HAND THAT FINGERS YOU
New Arrival
New Arrival

DON'T BITE THE HAND THAT FINGERS YOU

$30 or $25 each when you grab 2

Rated 4.9/5 by 714 Customers

Broken-in comfort from day one
Print that won't crack or fade
Gets softer every wash
ColorWhite
Size

Size Guide

Measure your body and match to the chart below.

SizeChestWaistHip
S34–36"27–29"35–37"
M38–40"31–33"39–41"
L42–44"35–37"43–45"
XL46–48"39–41"47–49"
2XL50–52"43–45"51–53"
3XL54–56"47–49"55–57"

How to Measure

  • Chest: Around the fullest part of your chest, tape parallel to the floor.
  • Waist: Around your natural waistline, tape comfortably loose.
  • Hip: Around the fullest part of your hips, ~8" below your waist.

These are unisex tees on Comfort Colors blanks and run true to size. Size up for a looser fit.

ShipsWed, Jun 10
🇺🇸 Fast US Shipping
Mix & Match
Fast Shipping Made to order in the USA
30-Day Guarantee Love it or return it
Comfort Colors® fits true to size with a relaxed, lived-in feel. If you're between sizes or like a looser fit, go up one. Check the size guide for exact measurements.
Orders ship within 2–3 days. Standard delivery takes 3–5 business days from there. You'll get a tracking number as soon as it's on its way.
Yes — the bundle discount applies to everything in the store. The builder above lets you grab 2 or 3 of this design in different colors and sizes. For different designs, just add each shirt to your cart separately and the bundle pricing applies automatically.

Sophie ,Allison and 8000+ others love our shirts!

Product Description

About This Design

A wide-jawed alligator lounges across a sunny yellow star like he wandered off a kindergarten worksheet — until your eyes drift up to the words. One tiny verb swap turns "don't bite the hand that feeds you" into "fingers you," and suddenly we're somewhere completely unhinged. The contrast is the whole joke, and it lands every single time.

Why You'll Love This Shirt

Half the fun is watching someone read "alligator," smile politely, and then physically recoil when their brain finishes the sentence. It's the kind of shirt that earns a double-take at Trader Joe's and a screenshot in three different group chats by Tuesday. Printed on Comfort Colors 1717 — soft, heavyweight, gets better with every wash.

Perfect For

White elephant exchanges that needed to be ruined a little. Bachelorette weekends in New Orleans. Naughty birthdays for your partner with absolutely zero shame. The friend whose love language is unhinged text messages. Brunch with the people who will appreciate it — and unhinging the people who won't.

Premium Quality Details

  • Comfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed heavyweight tee
  • 100% ring-spun cotton that gets softer with every wash
  • Relaxed unisex fit, runs true to size
  • Available in multiple colors, sizes S-3XL
  • Printed with high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) printing
Quality & Feel

This is not a cheap feeling tee. Printed on a premium Comfort Colors® shirt, this tee perfectly drapes on you, with a relaxed streetwear-style look.

• Heavyweight, garment-dyed Comfort Colors 1717
• Vintage DTG-print feel, crack-resistant
• Unisex fit, true to size
• Designed by TeeHeeUSCo

Shipping & Returns
  • Free standard shipping on orders $75+
  • 30-day returns/exchanges if you're not in love with your shirt. Learn more.

Us vs. The Other Guys

See why thousands are making the switch

Fan Favorite
TeeHeeUSCo
Comfort
Premium Comfort Colors cotton that stays soft wash after wash
Designs
Hand-designed by professional artists — actually funny
Guarantee
Guaranteed reactions or your money back
Colors
20+ colors to match your vibe
Community
8,000+ happy degenerates and counting
Generic Tee Brands
Comfort
Thin, scratchy fabric you'll never want to wear again
Designs
Clip art from 2003 that nobody laughs at
Guarantee
Good luck navigating their return policy
Colors
Black or white — take it or leave it
Community
Tumbleweeds and unanswered support tickets
Rated 4.94/5 by 8,000+ happy customers

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Join 8000+ Degenerates and Counting

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"Wore it out running errands and received 2 compliments and lots of laughs. I fuhreaking love this shirt and couldn't be happier" - Hannah

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